Published March 28, 2007
I agreed with Lynsei that I would take Michelle home.I really felt bad what if they take Michelle away and Lynsei never gets to see her again!! I couldn't belived that I had done that, now I'm typing my fingers away but yet... No one can know ,dang life sucks!!!
Michelle is doing ok she loves to come over to my house but when she gets older I will truley tell her what really happened and also what a bad friend I was. Lynsei is I guess ok they are taking her to a hospital just to see if shes having any problems she just found out that she is expecting,and well I am happy for her I just want to know she is safe.
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Just a few thoughts, Kristina:
You may want to make sure you've revised your piece before posting it. Everyone will make a few mistakes here and there, let a typo slip through or miss a punctuation error that others will catch, but in a piece this short these lapses become rather noticeable. To be honest, they detract. Something to bear in mind.
Also, you may want to scratch the extra exclamation marks. Avoid them like the plague under normal circumstances. If you feel the overwhelming need to use them, try to limit yourself to one at a time. ^_~
Also: 'ok' should be written out - 'okay'.
One more point, and that is make sure you watch your run-on sentences. It's not a huge problem, but it's something to look at.
That all having been said, good luck on this, Kristina. ^_^